So since this is my first blog i decided to give a little information about me.
i'm a college student currently enrolled for Design Communications which is basically graphic design. after i graduate from there i plan on going into massage therapy. being a massage therapist has been a bit if a dream of mine for a while now. i love seeing the smile on peoples faces when they feel relaxed and content and no longer aching or in pain. i make it my own secret challenge to put the person to sleep during the process. lets me know i did a awesome job of getting them relaxed.
i'm a rather avid procrastinator which i know is bad but i don't want to do it or at least interested in it, it's so hard to motivate myself into doing it. papers i hate the topic for are the worst i think. i practically wait till the last minute to get it done, which i usually do but it's a bad habit and i know it. it's gonna bite me in the butt here this month i'm pretty sure though.
speaking of this month though it's going to be an exciting one. i get out of my summer class this next Thursday so i won't have to deal with that soon. other than that i recently got back in contact with someone i knew through a game called Dagorhir that we both played. no it was not online it was a real face-to-face game. anyways, i totally thought this guy was a complete dirt bag because of the way he acted around everyone at the game and the things i had been told about him. about two to two and half months ago he started contacting me via facebook. me of course still thinking he was a dirt bag ignored him for the most part. then some things happened with me and i became rather lonely and he was there at the right moment to give me someone to talk to. it helped a great deal more than i think he knows.
after than i began conversing with him whenever i could since he is currently deployed in South Korea. he made me feel better and he listened to me when i was complaining and whining like a big baby. pretty soon my opinion of him had changed dramatically. i found out things i never knew about him and i told him things he never knew about me but we both knew we couldn't be anything but friends right? i mean he had a thing about no brown hair and brown eyes. i had a thing about his age and religion so definite friends and no more. right?
wrong
i hadn't expected it to happen honestly. i mean yeah i started thinking about him at random times and it kinda freaked me out and had to push the thoughts aside but it wasn't anything major. then one day he mentioned his webcam. so wait he had a webcam? was my thought. he didn't tell me that. mind you i hadn't seen him in over a year except in old pictures on his Facebook. old pictures suck period they are so off usually. anyways, i got him to turn it on and sure enough he looked different than his pictures. i liked the webcam better that was for sure.
so we talked like normal only i could see him now. and then i said something that made him laugh and truly smile. it wasn't one of these fake, i'm smiling to make you happy, smiles. it was a true straight from the heart smile that made his whole face light up. now this smile might not seem like much to anyone reading this but this man never really smiled much from what i had seen. even in pictures it was just a grin at most. most people sometimes himself included considered him cold-hearted and emotionless. but that's not true. i mean i knew he was a great guy now but that smile, damn, i just watched and thought wow. i wanted to see it again.
i already knew he liked me it's one of the first things he told me. actually it was more along the lines of "for you i could get over my restriction about brown hair and brown eyes" which made me laugh. i didn't believe he liked me at the time. course i'm also kind of self degrading and still down't believe him when he tells me i'm beautiful. anyways, after that i started to like him more and pushing the thoughts aside was getting harder and harder. then he started to invade my dreams, which i didn't think anything of, till it happened 3 times in a row.
my mother has told me on several occasions "if you go to sleep thinking of someone and you wake of up still thinking of them, then there is something to it" so i started to realize i've really got a crush on him. and at that moment my misgivings about his age and religion went out the window. i tried to keep it a secret from him and my parents but i wear my emotions on my sleeve which makes it pretty much impossible. we still talk whenever the time differences and his duties to the army allow. but i'm looking forward to him getting home this july on the 26th. he'll be home for two weeks, which i'm sure won't last nearly long enough. but i have ideas on fun stuff to do and a surprise for him the first weekend he's home. it's exciting and i hope he likes it. when he gets here i'm going to pick him up at the airport and spend as much time with him as i can before he has to leave for i don't know how long again. that part is going to be hard, very hard, i can already tell but i'll make it through.
i'll have to :)
FireFly
