New to this

so if yo read my blogs up to now you know about me getting to know someone i thought i knew all over again. he told me things i didn't know and pointed out this i didn't realize about myself. he also told me about D/s and M/s relationships. it was all quite strange and a bit hard to digest at first. i've always been raised to in a family that my parents were equals for the most parent. i was raised in a christian family and had never in my life even realized that M/s even existed so it was rather strange.

it got curious though and started asking him about it doing research and the more i reasearched honestly the more i got nervous about the lifestyle. all the things i read from people seemed so extreme and out of synk with who i am that i kind of scared me at first. however he kept reminding me that not every relationship was the same so i kept thinking about it.

eventually as our relationship got closer even though he was in south korea at the time we joked about collars and what he wanted to do to me right then or when he got home. not all of it was joks though and i was surprised on occasion to find that some of the things he said to me were a major turn on. i started having dreams about him innocent and short at first them nore sexual and longer dreams.

i decided i wanted to at the very least date him if not maybe try the whole M/s relationship which he works best in as he told me. i finally decided to stop researching and quizz him directly and i honestly really liked the answers he gave me. so one day i told him that even though he was in korea and i didn't have a collar i concidered myself his because i really liked him and i wanted to be with him. he was quite happy about that and he told me that if that was the case then i could start some of my training before he even got hom for leave.

and he did start me on training. it was little things like undressing in a certain order infront of the webcam (i get really shy in from of the cam) so he could see. when i typed my nickname pet (we didn't use voice chat often) i was to answer Master when i replied. just little things like that which while was alittle reluctant to sometimes i did it and i always got rewarded with a Good girl which makes me feel all smilie. he also told me how he depending on how tired he was when i picked him up from the airport he might take me as soon as we got to the hotel room but he wasn't sure. he told me that while he was home he wanted me to try anal. this made me very nervous becuase the last time i tried anal with someone it hurt alot and didn't feel good at all. he told me he'd be gentle and i trust him so i reluctantly agreed. Master is experienced and knows what he's doing.

well the day finally came that he was gonna be home. i had yet to actually call him Master out loud as of yet even on voice chat although i slip up once. i didn't want to cause i thought it would be better if i did it in person the first time. anyways i was so excited that i showed up at the airport 30 minutes early and wondered around the waiting area anc checking the arrive board frequently. i didn't have my glasses on so it was practically impossble to spot him from far away but i saw him as he got closer and i got so very very giddy i would have ran and jumped in his arms i was so excited but their were people in the way. hen he reached me and grabbed me and gave me a quite kiss before picking me up and carring me away from the gate. he carried me quite a ways before i had to beg him to stop and give me a proper hug but i was laughing the whole time.

finally we got his bags (which he wouldn't let me help with) and got to my car. when we got his bags in and we sat in the car i put the keys in and told him i made a snack for him and he said "i'll eat it later but first..." then he grabbed my hair and pulled me to him for a kiss. even though i am new to the M/s relationship that has always felt good and it made me dizzy for a second after he let me go.

we didn't go straight to the hotel but other places first but when we got to the hotel he let me help with his bags alittle and that made me happy. when we got everything inside he closed the curtains and shut the door with the light off and i couldn't see when i told him so he said "that ok i can see" grabbed me and bit my neck. he then made me strip down and kneel at his feet which i honestly though i would be nervous or shy about but i wasn't i didn't hestitant to do it.  i told me to suck his cock and i did but i didn't for long he picked me up and put me on the bed and took me right then. he took me several times that day which i thoughly enjoyed every bit of. i surprised him several times during his time home and i didn my best to take care of him in sexual and non sexual ways. he took care of me like no one ever has before and still does take care of me. i had him for two weeks before he had to report in to the military at his new post.

i call him Master alot now because he really truely is my Master and i adore him. he's kind, gentle, loving, protective and possesive, he takes care of me the best he can, i adore my master and while i am still very new to this kind of relationship he knows that and is taking it slow with me. i do my best to be his good girl and make him proud of me. he gives me compliments and rewards me with this i want when i'm good. like a recording of his voice or pictures of himself. i know small things some people might say but i love the little things because they are what big things are built on. i miss my Master something ferice and i wish i could be with him where he is but i can't and it's hard sometimes. i get to text him but i can't see him just yet on cam. i can't wait to see him again. i hope i'm able to visit him for christmas but if i can't i'll wait patiently till i can. i miss you and adore you Master be safe.

it's over!

finally my summer class is over. it was only a month long that the month took what seemed like forever. i hope i got a good grade. I'm honestly expecting a C or a D but as long as it's passing i don't really care. now i can focus on other things i want to do instead of worrying about getting papers done.
now i can draw those pictures I've been meaning to finish and complete the design I've been drawing out and now it's only 19 days left till the best part of this month. i'm excited about it i can hardly wait.

independence day

well it's the day of fireworks and as i write this my idiot brother and his friend are tring to blow themselves up outside the garage....or in it. i can't tell anymore lol

since it is the 4th of july and thus independence day i wanted send out a big thank you to all the troops and especially those away from home right now. thank you for everything you do for us here at home. thank you for making it possible for us to sleep peacefully at night when i know some of you can not. thank you giving up so much for us so we can have a safe place to call home. thank you for everything.
 God bless and keep you all safe.



i wish so much that you all could be home right now.

FireFly

p.s. i miss you Gunbunny, be safe out there.

a little bit about me

So since this is my first blog i decided to give a little information about me.

i'm a college student currently enrolled for Design Communications which is basically graphic design. after i graduate from there i plan on going into massage therapy. being a massage therapist has been a bit if a dream of mine for a while now. i love seeing the smile on peoples faces when they feel relaxed and content and no longer aching or in pain. i make it my own secret challenge to put the person to sleep during the process. lets me know i did a awesome job of getting them relaxed.

i'm a rather avid procrastinator which i know is bad but i don't want to do it or at least interested in it, it's so hard to motivate myself into doing it. papers i hate the topic for are the worst i think. i practically wait till the last minute to get it done, which i usually do but it's a bad habit and i know it. it's gonna bite me in the butt here this month i'm pretty sure though.

speaking of this month though it's going to be an exciting one. i get out of my summer class this next Thursday so i won't have to deal with that soon. other than that i recently got back in contact with someone i knew through a game called Dagorhir that we both played. no it was not online it was a real face-to-face game. anyways, i totally thought this guy was a complete dirt bag because of the way he acted around everyone at the game and the things i had been told about him. about two to two and half months ago he started contacting me via facebook. me of course still thinking he was a dirt bag ignored him for the most part. then some things happened with me and i became rather lonely and he was there at the right moment to give me someone to talk to. it helped a great deal more than i think he knows.

after than i began conversing with him whenever i could since he is currently deployed in South Korea. he made me feel better and he listened to me when i was complaining and whining like a big baby. pretty soon my opinion of him had changed dramatically. i found out things i never knew about him and i told him things he never knew about me but we both knew we couldn't be anything but friends right? i mean he had a thing about no brown hair and brown eyes. i had a thing about his age and religion so definite friends and no more. right?

wrong

i hadn't expected it to happen honestly. i mean yeah i started thinking about him at random times and it kinda freaked me out and had to push the thoughts aside but it wasn't anything major. then one day he mentioned his webcam. so wait he had a webcam? was my thought. he didn't tell me that. mind you i hadn't seen him in over a year except in old pictures on his Facebook. old pictures suck period they are so off usually. anyways, i got him to turn it on and sure enough he looked different than his pictures. i liked the webcam better that was for sure.

so we talked like normal only i could see him now. and then i said something that made him laugh and truly smile. it wasn't one of these fake, i'm smiling to make you happy, smiles. it was a true straight from the heart smile that made his whole face light up. now this smile might not seem like much to anyone reading this but this man never really smiled much from what i had seen. even in pictures it was just a grin at most. most people sometimes himself included considered him cold-hearted and emotionless. but that's not true. i mean i knew he was a great guy now but that smile, damn, i just watched and thought wow. i wanted to see it again.

i already knew he liked me it's one of the first things he told me. actually it was more along the lines of "for you i could get over my restriction about brown hair and brown eyes" which made me laugh. i didn't believe he liked me at the time. course i'm also kind of self degrading and still down't believe him when he tells me i'm beautiful. anyways, after that i started to like him more and pushing the thoughts aside was getting harder and harder. then he started to invade my dreams, which i didn't think anything of, till it happened 3 times in a row.

my mother has told me on several occasions "if you go to sleep thinking of someone and you wake of up still thinking of them, then there is something to it" so i started to realize i've really got a crush on him. and at that moment my misgivings about his age and religion went out the window. i tried to keep it a secret from him and my parents but i wear my emotions on my sleeve which makes it pretty much impossible. we still talk whenever the time differences and his duties to the army allow. but i'm looking forward to him getting home this july on the 26th. he'll be home for two weeks, which i'm sure won't last nearly long enough. but i have ideas on fun stuff to do and a surprise for him the first weekend he's home. it's exciting and i hope he likes it. when he gets here i'm going to pick him up at the airport and spend as much time with him as i can before he has to leave for i don't know how long again. that part is going to be hard, very hard, i can already tell but i'll make it through.

i'll have to :)

FireFly